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A Pink Paper Heart Torn from the Middle and Hanging from a String

The Mistakes That are Ruining Modern Relationships

No relationship comes with a user guide. We’re all just drawn to each other instantly or gradually. When the honeymoon period wears off, your relationship might just take a plunge for which there is no roadmap. Navigating these uncharted roads is partially about avoiding the mistakes that may lead to a dead-end.

In this week’s blog, we bring you some of these relationship killers.

Expecting Change

Relationships are a lot of work because you must put up with both the good and bad traits of your partner. This goes both ways. As humans, we’re far from perfect, but these little imperfections are what make us unique.

These imperfections are also a part of us, meaning changing them is hard work. Imagine going out of your way to do something you hate. It’s not a great feeling, is it? Well, it’s about ten times harder to get your partner to do the same.

To start with: don’t enter a relationship thinking you can change this not-so-pleasant aspect about your partner. Enter one knowing about their flaws and embracing them just as they are.

A Woman Laughing Up at a Man While He Laughs at Something in the Distance with a Fist Over His Mouth

Conflict Avoidance

Some couples get into heated arguments so often, they stop talking about things that bother them altogether. Fighting and shouting at each other is bad, but not even trying to resolve the issue is worse.

Conflict avoidance is when you:

  • Ignore issues at hand.
  • Fear letting people down.
  • Avoid communication
  • Secretly resent unresolved issues.

This behavior is extremely harmful to your well-being. Sometimes, you need to communicate for the situation to improve. Avoidance breeds frustration, hurt, and anger towards your partner.

Micromanaging Their Life

Your partner has a life outside the boundaries of your relationship, and so do you. Trust them enough to let go, and expect the same treatment in return. Let them indulge their hobbies, interests, and plans because they make them happy.

Give them their alone time. It’s how they can recharge and reconnect with themselves. Depriving them of their own life is the last thing you should do if you want your partner fully invested in this relationship.

Fixating On the Negatives

The longer you’re in a relationship, the easier it gets to focus on the negative aspects of your partner. Although it’s easy to fall into this pattern of pointing out their flaws, it’s hardly serving any positive purpose. The only thing it’s doing is putting a wedge between you and your significant other.  

To get over this habit:

  • Sit down with a notebook and jot down everything you love about them.
  • Go ahead and make it a couple’s activity.
  • Once done, keep updating the list as you discover more lovable aspects of your partner.

Discover Ways to Nurture a Lasting Relationship

Let Freda R. Wilson help you discover ways to nurture a lasting relationship through personal, spiritual, and relationship coaching through couples or one-on-one coaching sessions.

Sign up for a  session to work towards having a mutually fulfilling relationship.

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