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Starting Over After Divorce

 Most divorces don’t run smoothly. Whether it’s an amicable parting or a messy separation, the legal process can wreak havoc on your emotions. It might even prevent you from starting a new relationship in the future as you may feel unwanted, rejected, and extremely hurt and depressed.

Here’s what you can do to reenter the dating world after getting a divorce.

Don’t Take Shortcuts

Some individuals sleep around quite a bit after breaking up with their partners. It’s  common, but it’s not exactly productive. They’re likely avoiding the internal turmoil that comes with divorce by jumping headfirst into the dating world. This shortcut might work for them now, but it’s not a feasible long-term solution.

Know that it’s okay to grieve the end of your relationship for however long you want. Face all that hurt because that’ll eventually contribute to your personal growth. Focus on self-love for the time being, and you’ll be capable of translating that love into your future relationships.

Speaking of Self-Love

 If you treat yourself with love and respect, you’ll attract people who treat you the same way. Conversely, if you feel like a lesser person because of your past relationship, your new partner  could eventually perceive this and begin to treat you as you see yourself. .

Love yourself and take a take no prisoners approach to love this time around. Find someone who loves you and feels fortunate to have you in their life, and don’t forget to return the favor.

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Go in with Zero Expectations

Your former spouse might have played a specific role in your life, but don’t expect a new partner to play the same role. You’re starting a new chapter of your life, not filling in the gaps left by your ex.  

Therefore, you must know what you want this time around. Explore the next person you want to bring into your life. Get to know:

  • Their likes and dislikes.
  • Their desires and dreams.
  • The role they want to play in your life rather than the one you want them to play.

Be Merry

Just as there’s no need to hurry up the grieving process, there’s no need for you to find a serious partner right away. You don’t even have to start dating right away. You can take it easy, meet a few people, have fun, and let it happen naturally.

In fact, meet as many people as you want and make new friends. As you meet new people, this can give you more insight into what you want in a partner? You can keep things platonic and ask them about their lives, values, and thoughts. This would give you an opportunity to observe how they make you feel and watch out for red flags before making things serious.

Get Back in the Dating Game with Divorce Coaching and Therapy in San Diego, CA

You don’t have to go through the grieving process alone. Let certified life and relationship coach Freda R. Wilson help you survive divorce and start dating again through one-on-one coaching sessions.

Register for a divorce recovery session by filling out this form.

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