We all know initial attraction has less to do with compatibility and a whole lot more to do with chemical reactions. The real question is: how do you see through the fog to the person underneath and determine if they’ll be a compatible love match for you?
In this week’s blog, we’ll go over what makes a potential partner conducive to a committed relationship.
You Can Be Honest Around Them
We may feel more comfortable confiding in strangers, and that might be the case with a potential love match. You may find yourself telling them everything. Then, as your relationship grows older, you might start holding things back and telling lies of omission because you can either imagine their reaction, can’t be bothered, or both.
However, you know you’re with the right person when you find yourself being honest around them, even after getting to know them. This is because you trust them not to ridicule or downplay your concerns. You know you have a true ally in them: a rarity even in platonic relationships.
You Complete Each Other
When you complete each other, there are no leftovers—said no one ever. But that’s part of the reason that opposites attract. If you like chicken thighs and your partner prefers chicken breasts, you’re less likely to fight over your portions.
Apply this to any example outside chickens, and you have a scenario where you both pick up the slack and make up for each other’s shortcomings. However, beware. Sometimes lust can be confused for love. After the honeymoon period wears off, the mismatched attributes that attracted you to your opposite may just have the opposite effect.
You Come from Similar Backgrounds
Many romance writers take a shared history angle to their stories to show how their characters go way back. They use this backstory to then set the stage for serendipitous reunions discovered much later in the book. There’s a reason this trope works: it’s got a hint of truth to it.
Shared backgrounds—if not shared history—have a way of making potential love interests feel bonded. Dating someone whose upbringing has parallels to your own upbringing makes for enhanced intimacy and comfort in the short and long run.
You Both Take Responsibility for Your Mistakes
A relationship is a conscious effort involving active contributions from both partners. It’s much easier to leave someone with whom you don’t share a drop of blood, meaning you can’t just let wrongdoing on your partner’s part slide without an apology because it will affect your relationship.
Healthy couples mess up, too, but they also address their issues and apologize for their role in the conflict, no matter how small or big.
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